Remembering Names

I am terrible at remembering names.  Actually, I think I'm probably pretty good at remembering names, its the faces I have a problem with.  There are tons of names in my head, I just have a difficult time matching those names to each particular face, which is really the most important part of remembering the names.

I can't tell you how many times I've either called a kid the wrong name, forgotten that I've met the kid, or worse yet, been called out by a kid I call "Hey Dude" when he asks me if I know his name.  That's a terrible feeling - for both of us.

Just came across a post by Donald Miller - Why it Hurts When Somebody Forgets Your Name. A Christian Perspective.  He points out that the real reason it hurts when someone forgets our name is because it reminds us of our broken relationship with our creator.

You and I were designed to be friends with God, to be close to Him, to know Him and be known by Him. God gave mankind freedom to walk away, and man did. So now there is a separation. We are separated from the Deity we were supposed to be in relationship with. Without that love, we trade on each others live, which pales in comparison. When my friend saw that I called him by another name, he was reminded of the relationship he was supposed to be in, and reminded how impotent human love can be. He forgave me, but it’s a sad reminder. It’s even sadder because my friend is one of the most loving, other-person centered people I know, and as an introvert, I’m terrible in comparison.

My Club team uses Facebook as an extremely useful tool for many things, but one of the most helpful features is the picture tagging.  There are tons of pictures posted of our Club & Camp trips and most of those pictures have been tagged by our kids.  We encourage our leaders to take some time to use those pictures as a name quiz.

What do you do to help yourself remember names?

Wordless Wednesday - Florida Snowball Fight

 

We willed each napkin with 1/4 cup of flour, pulled the four corners together and twisted the top.  After making about 500 of these, we were ready to throw them at people for a 70 degree snow ball fight.

Check out more Wordless Wednesday pictures at 5 Minutes of Mom, Sunny Day Today Mama, Seven Clown Circus, Experimental Mommy, & Mom Knows It All.

Throw A Baby If You Have One

A few years ago, a married couple on my team had a baby boy. One week the dad, Mike, was holding his son in Club and walked out of the room. Once he got out, he removed the blankets from the baby and wrapped them around a doll.

When it was time for announcements, Mike came back in the room holding the doll the same way he had been holding his son. As he moved across the front of the room he purposely tripped over a girl's legs and tossed the fake baby about 10 feet across the room, while simultaneously acting as any new dad would act had it been a real child. The reaction of the crowd was hysterical, especially the girl he tripped over.

That's why I loved it when I read this post by Chad Swanzy titled "I dropped a newborn baby last night" complete with pictures. Good stuff if you've got a baby around.

My wife is pregnant, and I'm already getting excited about being able to do this again.

Gotta A Good Thing Going

Last night after Young Life Club, I remembered that I wasn't going to be able to be at Campaigners on Wednesday morning as usual.  We have 8 - 15 guys who show up for a our weekly Campaigner Bible Study at 6:00am at a local coffee shop just around the corner from the high school.  Anyway, I wasn't going to be able to lead on Wednesday and when I checked with the other leader who usually comes he told me he wasn't going to be able to be there either.

So, I started to walk around the room and let the guys know we wouldn't be having Campaigners this week.

That's when Mitch & Vinnie decided they didn't need no stinkin' leader.

Vinnie's voice boomed over the music on our sound system.  "Hey everyone!  Guys campaigners, Wednesday morning at Barnie's.  Mitch & I will be leading it."

What a blessing for me to hear for 2 reasons.  First, it's obvious these guys love coming to Campaigners.  It amazes me that they all get up so early every week to hang out with us and read God's word.  And, number 2, that these guys are willing to take the initiative to read scripture with their friends and discuss it on their own blows me away.  That's just super cool.

I can't wait to hear how it goes.

Leader Lounge Blog & Podcast

Too much spam has made the Leader Lounge an absolute mess, plus I'm paying for the server space.  Why do that when blogspot is free?

So, I'm migrating the Leader Lounge over here along with the podcast.  In addition to the usual ministry related items, I've decided to try to simplify my life a little bit and just blog about everything I have a hankering for on one site.  The 3 of you who used to visit the Leader Lounge will still get everything you got before (which is at least a post a quarter).

I would encourage you to check out the podcast.  I've only brought over a couple episodes, but the whole thing is available on iTunes.  We will be doing more (hopefully) in the near future.

What's More Valuable - Your Cell Phone or Your Virginity?

Jeremy Berg, a youth pastor from Minnesota, makes a bold statement during a conversation with a friend in a post at youthworker.com.

With these thoughts floating around in my head, I blurted out a provocative statement to my pastor friend across the table that struck us both as...well...something worth pondering. I said: "Many teens will give up their virginity easier than they'll give up their cell phone."

Huh, that's an interesting observation.

They both have to do with connectedness, with relationships.  Giving up your cell phone takes away your connection with others while giving up your virginity has to do with drawing close to someone.  It seems to me both illustrate the desire we have to be connected and know people intimately.  It's a God-given desire.

I don't disagree with Jeremy.  He makes a good point.  It does make me think, however.

1. What can we be doing to help our teens feel connected better with those around them?  Are we helping them connect both with and without technology?
2. What can we do to help them distinguish between appropriate levels of connection?  How can we help them properly live within good, authentic, Godly relationships?

Ironically, I think the answer to both is good communication & connectedness.  When we take kids to Young Life camp, we take their cell phones away.  It is hardly a struggle anymore, because we do a good job of communicating the reasons and the benefits.  More often than not, they are excited to have a week without being tied down to their mobile networks.  Of course, we are providing them with tons of opportunities to be connected face-to-face throughout the week - modeling good community relationships.

Likewise, talking and talking and talking to them about the benefits of saving yourself (or re-saving yourself) for marriage is key.  And, not just for the sake of saving yourself, but with the explanation that sin always impacts other people - drawing it back to connectedness.  If we can help kids see how the choices they make affects others in the community they care about - even in the future - we will be helping them tremendously.

On a side note, but somewhat related.  Did you catch the Newsweek piece called Unattainable Beauty?  Good grief.  It's no wonder our kids have such a messed up view of how we should look.

Small Group Help - CT Website

Christianity Today has a website specifically for small group leaders.  It's called smallgroups.com (can't believe that domain was available) and It's designed to meet the need many churches have as their small group ministries grow.  I haven't had a chance to look at all of it, but there's some good stuff that I think I might either use outright or at least get some ideas from for my Campaigner group.

Christian Today launched the new site to equip small-group leaders with thousands of articles, ideas, and icebreakers for their meetings; over 50 downloadable training tools leaders can share and discuss or use for personal development; over 200 customizable and downloadable Bible Studies; and an expert panel of small-group leaders and authors that answer difficult questions pertaining to small-group ministry.

There are prices listed on most of the stuff, but right now that price is $0.00.  Might want to take advantage of this before there is a charge.  I don't know if that's in their plans or not.

You can't take the car out of the parking lot until you pay for it.

So it can be done!

This is a refreshing story from the Chicago Tribune - Practicing abstinence, bride and groom have never kissed.

When the officiant tells Claudaniel Fabien he can kiss his bride at the altar Saturday, no one will fault the couple for a little "should I tilt my head this way, or that way?" awkwardness.

It will be the couple's very first kiss.

In his Song of Solomon series, Tommy Nelson answers the question, "How far can we go?" by using an analogy of a cliff.  We don't want our kids to ask how close they can get to the edge.  Let's just stay away from the edge.

Of course there are the folks who think this is crazy, those who ask how you know he/she's right for you unless you try her out, the live together before you get married just so you know crowd.

To them, Melody responds, "You can't take the car out of the parking lot until you pay for it."

Read the whole story.

Focus On One Among the Crowd

Smart Christian (what a name for a website) posts this little reminder of how important (and biblical) it is for us to focus on one person among the crowd.

When we read the Gospels, we see Jesus’ love for individuals among the crowds. In fact, he often rejected the crowds to minister to a single person.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't focus on the crowds, too.  There are plenty of examples of Jesus teacher the crowds, even distancing himself (in a boat) to be better heard by the crowd.

I know for me though, I get caught up by the crowds and realize I don't even know the names of some of the kids I'm talking to.

Saturday Night Live – Female Skit Ideas

We recently received an e-mail from Ashley, a Young Life Leader in Georgia asking about ideas for some good characters for females to do. My friend (and newest podcast team member) O.J. sent her an e-mail with some very good ideas. So good in fact that I thought it'd be good to post it here.

It might not be a bad idea to resurrect some old Saturday Night Live characters that are great for females. Most of them are old enough that kids will think you made them up.

Here are a couple of ideas..

1. Mary Catherine Gallagher - these aren't the best clips, but if you are not familiar with the character, it's a good start.





2. This is one that can be performed with all females or any mix of males and females. It's usually called "Master P Theater", sort of a take off on the old Masterpiece Theater that was on PBS. A person(s) comes in dressed all old and stuffy - think smoking jacket and pipe or any kind of golf clothes. The character then reads, in a serious manner, the lyrics to popular rap songs like "Soulja Boy". It's ridiculous to hear them in this setting. Even better is to do a few and then for the last one learn the dance and read the rap and then do the dance.

Hey Kid, Want Some Candy

Today, I was walking through the cafeteria during lunch and saw 2 guys behind a table at the far end. I recognized them right away, because last week they were in the same spot, doing the same thing - standing behind the little table with an opened bag of candy, a few pieces falling out on the table and I went up and introduced myself. I found out they were from a Youth Mininstry organization (you'd know it if I told you), so I told them I was a YL leader. We talked about church a little bit, and then I went on my way.

Today, I didn't have time to talk, but I glanced over at their table from time to time. I gotta tell you, I felt sooooo sorry for them. What a picture of why "go to them" ministry works and "come to me" ministry isn't quite so effective. I think I saw a grand total of 2 kids talk to them in a 30 minute period.

I'm not coming down on them, because they're just getting started and I know all too well how difficult & intimidating it is to go into a room full of kids you don't know hoping someone talks to you. I remember feeling like that guy. Actually, I pray that I always feel a little bit like that guy just to keep me on my toes and make me remember who's really in control. But, part of me wanted to go over there and kick them in the butt until they engaged with some kids. I wanted to fold up their table, push them to the middle of the room, and tell them to just talk to someone.

Seriously, what's the worst that could happen? The kids might laugh at you. Maybe, but in most cases that won't happen until you walk away. Just don't look back.

I have to applaud their consistency. They came today, and they were here last week. Maybe they'll be here tomorrow. There's something to be said for presence. Sooner or later, maybe a kid will get dared to go to their table and talk to them, while his friends watch & giggle. But, I'd rather force the issue. You're there to meet kids, to have an impact on their lives, to show them who Jesus is. Jesus ain't sitting at a table with a big bag of Starbursts.

Jump in, fellas! It's a whole lot more exciting.

Developing Core Values

Oregon - S.W. Washington Region has developed some core values they keep in mind while they do ministry. At first I thought this had to be something from National, but doing a google search on "young life" "8 core values" , only one site came up, and it was this region's. These are their core values, they've apparently developed on their own.

I'm interested to know if other regions/areas have developed their own and how that process works. Who's involved? Do you re-evaluate them from time to time to address changes in leadership or youth culture?

Cabin Time Questions For Ordinary Club Talks

Help for Young Life Leaders NOW has some great advice for weekend camp speakers.

I recently spoke at a YL weekend camp. One of the best pieces of YL camp speaking advice I ever received was to plan your cabin time questions before you plan your talk.

That is outstanding advice, but reading the post gave me an idea.

At the end of nearly every regular Club talk our leaders will say something like "Hey, if you want to talk more about this stuff come and see one of the leaders." That's always great, but hardly any kids actually do that.

Here's the idea...what if leaders who were speaking came up with 2 or 3 questions (before they write their talks) that they'll give to the other leaders at pre-Club for us to use in conversations with kids during the following week? Not only would it help the speaker stay focused but it would help the rest of us have some creative ways to bring up the talks in our conversations with kids outside of Club.

Just an idea!

Where Has This Been?

Every youth leader worth his salt has to occassionally fix something he broke before anyone finds out or needs to know how to connect a PVC pipe to a life-size rubber duck so it won't fall apart when you set it on fire.

I think this website was designed specifically for my friend Scott Berry, but they are letting us all use it. Called ThisToThat.com, it is simple really. You just look at the two things you want to glue together, fingure out what each is made of, and the website tells you what kind of glue to use.

A Few Tuesday Links

1. Are we running so fast & being so cool that our kids don't grasp the idea that we can be alive - truly alive - and just enjoy downtime in God's creation? Rethinking Youth Ministry asks that question...

More than your ability to be a "cool" youth pastor or to entertain a crowd, Mark argues that what youth really want to know is if you know how to be truly alive in this culture, to maintain your passion, and to enjoy life in God's creation.

2. There's a new blogger out there blogging about Young Life. Only a few posts up now, but there's some good stuff.

3. Remember to check out Help For Young Life Leaders NOW. There's just some amazingly helpful stuff there, including help for talks specific to different chapters of the Bible.

4. Here's a fun one. Create fake newspaper clippings. They say to not use real names, but what fun is that. I did this story from a story we shared on our last podcast.

Gospel-Centered Everything...Even Topical Discussions

I've had some great discussions over the past year or so about making Jesus central to every Young Life talk we do. That's easy most of the time, but challenging when it comes to particularly the Sin talk - telling kids about our separation from God due to our sinfulness. But still, Jesus is & should be central to everything we teach, even when it comes to specific topical teaching & discussions.

Resurgence posted some thoughts under the title "Gospel-Centered Discipleship: How It Looks" and I love this statement.

A gospel-centered church does not just preach the gospel. The gospel is not an addition to our ministry or even a beginning point; rather, the gospel must saturate every part of our church's life.

I understand the value of topic-based discussions, especially in Campaigners. Kids seem to always want to talk about topics that "apply to their lives", and it's a temptation as leaders to give in, plan for, & do an entire discussion on some topic but leave out the gospel, as if the gospel doesn't "apply to their lives." The gospel needs to be in and through everything we do.

So, how do we do that?

1. Rely on scripture. The gospel runs through scripture, so if we are using it Jesus will be central.
2. Most "topical" discussions that kids want to talk about are usually about their misguided responses to a longing for deep relationship with God. Keep that in mind & steer discussions toward Jesus.

I would take the whole Gospel thing one step further & say we should not only apply it to church, but to our own lives. The gospel of Jesus Christ must saturate every part of our lives.

8 Witnessing Tips

Stand to Reason has an article titled "8 Witnessing Tips" by Greg Koukl. He was on a flight and overheard a Christian talking about his faith with another man.

Mr. Koukl uses this conversation to provide examples & non-examples of his 8 tips.

1. Look for opportunities.
2. Don't over complicate things.
3. Don't sound religious.
4. Focus on truth.
5. Give evidence.
6. Stay calm.
7. Let them walk away if they want to.
8. Give them something.

As YL leaders, we are doing all 8 of these things. Being where kids are gives us all kinds of opportunities. Reaching the furthest kid out makes us keep things simple. I think the only "religious" word I ever hear a Young Life leader say is "Sin", and then it's prefaced with "ok, ya'll this is a word you have probably heard before, but don't freak out on me."

We are always pointing to the truth found in scripture and using that as our evidence. But even more importantly, we are living out lives of evidence for our teenage friends to see.

Staying calm doesn't seem to be an issue for most of us, either. Unless it's 3:00 am and they're lighting their farts on fire. But, when it comes to the gospel, we are amazingly calm, level-headed, and loving but persistent. And, we never love kids because they come to Christ. We love them regardless!

Finally, giving them something. While we might not give them something physical like a Bible (actually most of us do), we are called to give them our lives and we do it everyday. Keep giving!

Read the entire article at Stand to Reason.

Model Quiet Times For Your Kids

I began meeting one-on-one with one of my school's most committed Christians. He's been in Young Life for 4 years and is a Wyld Life Leader, too.

We started meeting before school every Thursday morning to do some mentoring/discipleship. About the third week into our meetings, we talked about quiet times. Turns out, he has a really difficult time knowing what to do when he sits down to spend some time with God. It actually has made him not make them a priority, because (these are my words) it almost seems like a waste of time to him.

That got me thinking about our other kids. How are we leading our Campaigner kids in the most basic Christian discipline, spending some alone time with God? They don't know how to pray, they don't know what to read, and I realized I haven't done a good job of leading them.

I decided to model quiet times for him, so that's what we did for the next few weeks. We sat at Denny's and had quiet times together. I also told him what I had done in my quiet time that morning, what I had read and what I had prayed about.

I think it's also important to give them some sort of structure for their quiet time. Let them know God is not interested in the structure, but that it gives them a starting place from which to build their own quiet time routine.

Think about how uncomfortable it is to just sit next to someone with nothing to say, especially if you just met that person. It's the same with our relationship with Christ. We need to have something to do together, at least at the beginning. There is of course something to be said of those who reach a point in a relationship where just being together is bliss, but for those in a new relationship, we need to teach them some structure.

Here's what I taught my friend.

1. Pray that God would teach you something while you read the Bible.
2. Pick a book of the Bible you will read consistently. I talked to my friend about books that appeal more to the heart and books that appeal more to the head. For instance, I love Proverbs, because I like thinking about wisdom and how to live. My friend is more sensitive and prefers to read Psalms. It would be a good idea to lead new Christians to one of the gospels, but don't shy away from the chance to explain different books of the Bible.
3. Read a chapter.
4. Ask. What is God trying to teach? Why did He put this passage in the Bible? How should this affect my relationship with God? How should it affect the way I live?
5. Pray the scripture back to God.
6. Spend time praying for others.
7. Pray for yourself.

Incidently, I know a lot of leaders don't have consistent quiet time, either. So let me encourage you to do that. It's impossible to lead our kids in their relationship if we are not spending time getting to know Christ better ourselves.

Resources...

Gocampus.org - Quiet Times
All About God - Quiet Times - An Appointment
Myquiettimes.com - Ideas for Your Devotional Times
Time With Jesus - A little corny (and centered), but an example of someone who really values their time with Christ.

My Utmost for His Highest: Orange Cover (My Utmost for His Highest)

8 Witnessing Tips

Stand to Reason has an article titled “8 Witnessing Tips” by Greg Koukl.  He was on a flight and overheard a Christian talking about his faith with another man.
Mr. Koukl uses this conversation to provide examples & non-examples of his 8 tips.

1. Look for opportunities.
2. Don’t over complicate things.
3. Don’t sound religious.
4. Focus on truth.
5. Give evidence.
6. Stay calm.
7. Let them walk away if they want to.
8. Give them something.

As YL leaders, we are doing all 8 of these things.  Being where kids are gives us all kinds of opportunities.  Reaching the furthest kid out makes us keep things simple.  I think the only “religious” word I ever hear a Young Life leader say is “Sin”, and then it’s prefaced with “ok, ya’ll this is a word you have probably heard before, but don’t freak out on me.”

We are always pointing to the truth found in scripture and using that as our evidence.  But even more importantly, we are living out lives of evidence for our teenage friends to see.

Staying calm doesn’t seem to be an issue for most of us, either.  Unless it’s 3:00 am and they’re lighting their farts on fire.  But, when it comes to the gospel, we are amazingly calm, level-headed, and loving but persistent.  And, we never love kids because they come to Christ.  We love them regardless!

Finally, giving them something.  While we might not give them something physical like a Bible (actually most of us do), we are called to give them our lives and we do it everyday.  Keep giving!

Read the entire article at Stand to Reason.

Keep Mistakes In Perspective

Found this (at cyberetto) to be a good reminder and something we can share with leaders and kids as we sometimes feel overwhelmed by our failures.

Problems are not the problem.

Mistakes are never the mistake.

Mistakes only become mistakes if we respond badly to them.

A mistake can be the best thing that happens to us if we respond well.

Many of the greatest inventions have come from mistakes.

Many of the greatest advancements have emerged from problems.

Life is not without problems.

It is our lot to discover the blessing inside.

By Pastor Phil Pringle