With these thoughts floating around in my head, I blurted out a provocative statement to my pastor friend across the table that struck us both as...well...something worth pondering. I said: "Many teens will give up their virginity easier than they'll give up their cell phone."Huh, that's an interesting observation.
They both have to do with connectedness, with relationships. Giving up your cell phone takes away your connection with others while giving up your virginity has to do with drawing close to someone. It seems to me both illustrate the desire we have to be connected and know people intimately. It's a God-given desire.
I don't disagree with Jeremy. He makes a good point. It does make me think, however.
- What can we be doing to help our teens feel connected better with those around them? Are we helping them connect both with and without technology?
- What can we do to help them distinguish between appropriate levels of connection? How can we help them properly live within good, authentic, Godly relationships?
Likewise, talking and talking and talking to them about the benefits of saving yourself (or re-saving yourself) for marriage is key. And, not just for the sake of saving yourself, but with the explanation that sin always impacts other people - drawing it back to connectedness. If we can help kids see how the choices they make affects others in the community they care about - even in the future - we will be helping them tremendously.
On a side note, but somewhat related. Did you catch the Newsweek piece called Unattainable Beauty? Good grief. It's no wonder our kids have such a messed up view of how we should look.
I understand that virginity is something you give up. That said, I think most people think of virginity as chastity - that is, the absence of sex. Thus virginity is the giving up of sex before marriage, rather than something linked to the satisfaction of a need.
ReplyDeleteSo would kids give up something that brings them closer to the satisfaction of a felt need (ie phones->relational connection) before they'd give up something that they think is already keeping them from a need (ie sex->relational connection)?
As a parent of still-young children I wonder when we start having that conversation how I'll present the fullness the defining relationship of your life (marriage) you'll get by skipping the lack of satisfaction that comes in temporary sexual pursuits. Because I don't want to present "nothing is better" than something, knowing that it'll likely put my kids in a place when they'd be tempted to ditch their morals before their phones.
I love that you talk about starting that conversation. The question about when to start talking about it, I have no idea either, but I think that once that conversation starts it needs to be continual - even more so as they get older & feel that need more strongly.
ReplyDeleteMaybe that conversation needs to be heavily concentrated on "satisfaction". What will be truly & fully satisfying & what will bring false satisfaction?