While in a Grocery Store
- Every time you turn the corner with your shopping cart, yell “Make Way!!!”
- While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he or she has anything for body lice.
- Bring your own buy one get one free tags and put them on random items.
- Get tubes of Preparation H (or other embarrassing items) and as you go past other shoppers just secretly drop it in their cart. Stand near the checkout and watch what they all do.
- Challenge other shoppers to cart races.
- Set up your own little sample table, but just give out plain animal crackers. Be very enthusiastic about them. “YOU”VE gotta try these!”
- When you see a worker pulling items to the front of the shelf, walk by and push some back. Just keep walking.
- If you can find a freezer with room in it (or make your own room) get inside and look out at the shoppers through the glass doors.
- Bring a fake mouse attached to fishing line (50 feet is good) and drag it around behind your cart.
- Insist that the bagger only put one item in each bag.
- When you stop to look at something, turn your cart sideways so nobody can get by.
- Make up your own language and ask people questions in it. Make the questions sound important.
- Wear headphones and sing out loud.
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