The Psychologist Skit

We just did this skit on Monday. It is my favorite to do and had the kids cracking up.

Mr. Tolson is knocking at the door on the door of Dr. Roberts, the in-house psychologist.

Dr. Roberts: Mr. Tolson

Mr. Tolson: Are you Dr. Roberts?

Dr. Roberts: Yes, come in. Please have a seat. Sorry to have to call you down here on such short notice, but your company asked me to give you a creativity test.

Mr. Tolson: I’ve never taken one of those before.

Dr. Roberts: Well, they’re pretty easy. Actually, they can be fun. Would you like a beverage?

Mr. Tolson: I work in the computer center on the 17th floor. We just got a new computer in, and they put it in the back of the center. And all I did, I told them that they should put it up in the front of the center, so more of the people could get to it, but they didn’t.

Dr. Roberts: Fascinating. OK, the first test that we’re going to do is called a word association test.

Mr. Tolson: I don’t know what that is.

Dr. Roberts: Well, it’s pretty simple. I’ll give you a word, and you say whatever you can think of.

Mr. Tolson: Well, that sounds easy.

Dr. Roberts: Great! OK, well let’s start. First word, “shoe.”

Mr. Tolson: Shoe

Dr. Roberts: “Rabbit”

Mr. Tolson: (long pause) Rabbit

Dr. Roberts: "Truck"

Mr. Tolson: Truck

Dr. Roberts: OK, you’re just saying the words that I’m saying.

Mr. Tolson: I know, but when you say the word, that’s the word that I think of.

Dr. Roberts: OK, it’s my fault then. Let’s try again, only this time I want you to change the word.

Mr. Tolson: OK, so not just the same word.

Dr. Roberts: Great. You’re catching on. OK? Next word “hat.”

Mr. Tolson: Hats.

Dr. Roberts: “Moose”

Mr. Tolson: Meese

Dr. Roberts: OK, now all you are doing is just pluralizing the words that I’m saying.

Mr. Tolson: Yeah, but they’re different.

Dr. Roberts: Yeah, they are different, but that’s not what I want. OK, let me give you an example. Why don’t you give me a word?

Mr. Tolson: I give you a word?

Dr. Roberts: Yeah, any word.

Mr. Tolson: Word

Dr. Roberts: Fine, uh, that makes me think of “constriction” (folds arms across chest in a constrictive manner). Don’t worry you’ll catch on. Let’s try it again. Okay, “trumpet.”

Mr. Tolson: Constriction (folding arms in same manner)

Dr. Roberts: “Scarf”

Mr. Tolson: Moose

Dr. Roberts: “Cat”

Mr. Tolson: Scarf

Dr. Roberts: All right, now you’re just using the words that I’ve already used.

Mr. Tolson: Well, you didn’t say that I could use them up.

Dr. Roberts: Well, you can’t. OK? Why don’t we just move on to another test?

Mr. Tolson: They got this new computer up in the computer center, and I just told them they should put it up front, but they put it in the back.

Dr. Roberts: That’s fascinating. OK? Look, uh, for this next test I’m going to start a sentence, and I want you to complete it, OK?

Mr. Tolson: So all I have to do is finish it. OK, all right. Well this one sounds easy.

Dr. Roberts: OK, great. Now here is the first sentence. "When we went to the park we were going to ..."

Mr. Tolson: Period

Dr. Roberts: OK, look, you have to add some words to it. OK? Squeeze some words between the period and the other words all right. Let’s try it again. Let’s do another one. "Jerry had a wonderful red balloon, and he took it to ..."

Mr. Tolson: His friend Jerry ... who also had a red balloon ... and liked to add words.

Dr. Roberts: Look, Mr. Tolson, I need you to come up with some answers on your own. OK?

Mr. Tolson: We got a computer, and they wouldn’t put it in the front and ...

Dr. Roberts: Look, I heard you the first time.

Mr. Tolson: Are you angry with me?

Dr. Roberts: No, Mr. Tolson, I’m not angry with you. Let’s move to the next test all right. This is called a Rohrshach Test. What it is, is some people who took a piece of paper and put some ink on it and folded it. What I need you to do is look into these inkblots and tell me what you see. (Holding up ink blot) Now, what do you see here, Mr. Tolson?

Mr. Tolson: A black smear.

Dr. Roberts: Yeah, that’s exactly what it is. I need you to look into it and tell me what you see.

Mr. Tolson: (Looking at the doctor's shoes) I see black shoes.

Dr. Roberts: That’s good. I could see that.

Mr. Tolson: (looking at the doctor's tie) I see a brown tie.

Dr. Roberts: Um hum, good, good.

Mr. Tolson: (looking at the wall) I see a diploma from Grand Valley State University.

Dr. Roberts: That is enough, Mr. Tolson. You will not leave this office until you tell me what you see in this.

Mr. Tolson: I don’t want to, I don’t want to.

Dr. Roberts: Look, I’m going to make you use one creative bone in your body if it’s the last thing I do. Now look at this and tell me what you see. Tell me.

Mr. Tolson: I see a dog. (struggling)

Dr. Roberts: Good.

Mr. Tolson: And it’s on a log. (continuing to struggle)

Dr. Roberts: Good, go with that.

Mr. Tolson: And the dog is a terrier ... and it’s rabid ... and it shakes its head back and forth in meaningless anger.

Dr. Roberts: Good, good, good.

Mr. Tolson: And foam sprays from its mouth, and we follow this droplet of spit down to see where it lands on a symmetrical lawn, and the drop of spit slowly transforms, becoming a flaming brass eagle holding the Magna Carta in its claws. This eagle takes flight and soars over the (spit) gray convulsive Atlantic Ocean. (lowering voice) It flies low by the choppy waves, a massive shimmering sea bass leaps up, and it snatches the Magna Carta. But the sea bass is served to the family of Long John Silver’s restaurant. And as the family devours the fish, the father is transformed. His eyes glow wolf-yellow, he stares at his claws, and a massive crowd gathers around. He screams wildly into the night sky: “Where is the passion?” “Where ... is ... the ... passion?”

Dr. Roberts: (stunned) I’ll see what I can do about getting those computers moved.

Mr. Tolson: Yeah, on the 17th floor, and they put it in the back.

Dr. Roberts: Sure, OK.